emiya shirou ⚔ 衛宮士郎 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordsinternally) wrote2018-08-25 07:19 pm
swordsinternally) wrote2018-08-25 07:19 pm
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⚔ post-execution w/ max ( week 2 )
[ Well, he did promise that he would talk to her after everything, and once all the cooking and cleanup is done, he'll go and seek her out since he did, after all, promise that they'd talk again after they found out who the murderer is, after all. ]
You don't mind if we talk, do you?
[ He does look a little better than he was earlier, to say the least. ]
You don't mind if we talk, do you?
[ He does look a little better than he was earlier, to say the least. ]
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It's been months since then. I...kind of stopped talking about it to the others. It's such a--my future has been kind of nebulous ever since I got here, so it's hard to...It makes me sad, I guess. If I think about it too much.
No, not I guess, it does.
The week before I got here, I...
[she expects to share her experiences with Shirou the way that he just did with her, but nothing comes out. Instead, she pulls back.]
Just--There was a lot.
I was, out of nowhere, given the ability to reverse the flow of time. I could go back and fix my mistakes, make different decisions. Infinite freedom, right? I could do anything, then go back and it's like it never happened.
Except, the power and responsibility that came along with that swallowed me up. All I ever ended up doing was making things worse, time after time, and I wonder if I didn't...
[the sound of gunfire fills her head suddenly, to the point where she physically winces.]
Even if no one remembers what happened, I still do. The people that were hurt, that died.
I wasn't ready for the guilt.
I guess that's...that's my deal.
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[ Hearing about someone else's pain, to say the least, causes Shirou to go quiet. He can feel the sting there and honestly? He can't be sure if it's because he genuinely feels that way or not. He really doesn't know. That much is the truth.
The struggle in how she pulls back, to him... it's more natural, he thinks. How a person should honestly normally react. He's quiet for a good moment and he can't help but fold his hands together, mulling it all in his head for a good.
Well. A good while, anyway. ]
That definitely does sound like a lot. It doesn't matter if it was changed or not... seeing someone die right in front of you--
[ He finds his mind reeling, remembering all the dead bodies from the fire. The corpses he found in the church basement. The screams that would echo in his head, calling out.
Shaking his head, he tries to pull himself together, taking a deep breath in, then out. ]
As long as you still remember it, even if nobody else does... it's still painful. It still hurts. The guilt doesn't really ever go away. It's something that we have to live with, but. I think what's important is that we really shouldn't have to carry those burdens on our own. That doesn't just mean about this place. But outside, too.
That's what friends are for, after all, right? [ He smiles, but it's something a little sad. More melancholy. ] I think that just by admitting all of that... saying that you made a mistake, owning up to it and fixing it... I think that really takes a lot, too. You're really brave to say that, Max-san. That's why I honestly believe that you'll be able to accomplish everything that you have to.
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I feel like I can finally, I don't know, be open about everything that happened to me. People who are also in impossible circumstances, that can finally relate to me. If there's any silver lining here, it's the people I've met.
[she lays her hands on her knees and leans forward, smiling in the same melancholy manner as Shirou.]
Thanks for opening up to me, and letting me open up to you, too. Stuff like this...is what's going to help us get through this.
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[ His words are soft, but there's something understanding about the way he says that simple one worded answer, but the fact that they've managed to share a lot today shows that they can do this.
That they can make their bonds strong... so that nobody else will die.
He wants to believe in this. ]
I'd say you're welcome, but I really want to thank you too, Max-san. It really means a lot to me, to be able to hear that, and to be a person that someone can open up to.
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I trust you.
You can make me those waffles any time, by the way.
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[ For some reason, there's some doubt in his voice; as if he doesn't truly believe it. Not that he doesn't think that Max's words are genuine-- rather, he feels like he honestly isn't a good person.
No.
Maybe the problem he has is fundamentally different. So he shakes his head and smiles. ]
Thank you. Ah... wait, I should probably ask. It's okay if I call you by your name without the honorific, right? [ That's how he shows that he really trusts someone, after all. ] I'll definitely make them again. I need to improve my waffle making skills.
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[he's...sweet. for all his sternness and stoicism, there's a little bit of innocence in their, too.]
I'm glad you're committed to delivering Max Caulfield the perfect breakfast.
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[ Shirou is trying his best, and he manages to actually smile this time. It's not sad at all. ]
Well... I want to become the best chef I can be. Besides, if I let up, Sakura's going to surpass me in skill in no time.
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We hardly even need those regular meals with you around, huh?
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